Stefanie M.
My story is one that I’ve come to learn so many generations of women have experienced yet so few feel permission or confirmation to express. For dozens of centuries the feminine body has been objectified, discarded and demonized. My story is one of defying reason, logic and repression and reclaiming our body sovereignty. Not just as a physical symbol or virtuous political position, but as an infinite connection and portal, the very raw source by which all life on this planet comes to be and the wisdom held in the female body.
I was a sensitive and shy child who enjoyed creating my own world through dance, song, imitation and being in nature. I was always attuned to consciousness but never quite had the words to express my affinity for otherworldly, spiritual, mystical and mythical conquests. Perhaps the idea that I could be saved or save myself from the grief and demands of the adults in my world who made decisions on my behalf to serve some purpose of control yet never offered peace, gave me some idealized hope that God would grant me a special power. This belief has been the spark of feminine initiation that has served as my greatest ally in my health journey.
Performing as a child actress to appease my father and performing in vast capacities of life drew me away from this voice like so many women who allow doctors to probe us, poke us, numb us from our intuition. Repressing this voice of feminine guidance to fit in resulted in me being diagnosed with auto immune issues in 2014 including radiation poisoning, leaky gut, parasites, Candida and a slew of inflammatory conditions riddling my body, energy and womb. I worked with Naturopathic doctors who combined allopathic medicine with my own intuitive and natural solutions and I found myself renewed.
Clearing HPV and type 1 herpes from my tests and all future bloodwork since. But I wasn’t in the clear yet. In 2021 I found myself at the bitter end of a romantic relationship with a man who was not able to receive my truth or my body with depth and love. A small 5 cm fibroid grew to the size of a large mango within 8 months. I sat with this tumor and meditated trying to heal and understand why at 46 years old motherhood was eluding me and through this process I came to know that this fibroid was actually protecting my womb and initiating me to finally claim enough self authority to protect my womb and my body. I was blessed with a masterful surgeon who removed the mass and allowed me to journey home to this sacred relationship of feminine totality.
I don’t believe women should ever give our bodies to anyone even doctors blindly.
It is the work of modern medicine and our inner knowing in deep communion with self to discern how we will collaborate with healers and medical practitioners to free ourselves from dis-ease.
My journey has been one of both finding my way home to self, learning to maintain my health with smart food choices and supplements to reclaim authority over my health, body and inner healer, while also inviting doctors who are willing to trust their patients inner voice and the miracle that can be created when both are patient and doctor are trusted as healers.
